This previous week I found myself in a bit of a rut. After a series of challenging situations, followed by negative thoughts of my own, it seemed like life was just not where it could and should be. I started down that inward path of self-doubt and insecurity, replaying things over and over in my mind and wondering how things could have gone differently and if certain things could ever change.

Let me just stop here and admit that I’m being incredibly cryptic, I know. But right now I’d rather focus on the feeling than the content. The apostle Paul did it first when he talked about his mysterious thorn in the flesh that plagues his life and was breaking his spirit. And it’s allowed us to place our “thorns” in that text and remember how God’s strength is made perfect in whatever weakness we’re facing.

I’m guessing you’ve been here before, too. One of life’s challenges or a series of challenges starts to eclipse all the good, and blessing, and joy that God’s put in your life.

My wife, Michelle, had the incredible foresight to understand that there will be times in ministry when things are hard and we enter into dry seasons. So she did something about it. She went around to all the mentors in my life that I’d had throughout the years, and she asked them to write me letters of encouragement. It really is one of the coolest things and I’d highly recommend you do it for your friend or spouse – huge bonus points!

Last week she handed me one of these letters on my down day. It was from someone who had helped raise me up in the faith for most of my childhood, and this is an excerpt of what he wrote:

…My career started off right. A few years in, though, I hit a wall. I was given a huge responsibility very early on. I wanted to do a good job, but the truth was that the task was more than I could handle at the age of 25. I suffered through an awkward period and had to make a transition to a different area of the business to find a better fit. In the end, that worked out great and today I can see God’s hand in that. But, man, it was a rough period. It shook my confidence – because most everything had come pretty easily for me until then. 

What wall have you hit? And again I ask, how will you respond to this uncomfortable feeling? Please allow me to offer some reminders of things you already know: The work you are doing is important, but it certainly won’t always be easy. All you can do is speak the truth in love, no matter what comes back to you. Whether you plant or water, God makes all things grow. Throughout history people typically grow more through difficult times than through times of relative prosperity…

As I read his letter, I have to tell you – I was a little shocked. Here I was hoping for another sweet note from a great leader in my life, telling me to take heart and have hope. But this person was challenging me to lean into that uncomfortable place.

How would I respond to my doubts and fears? That’s the last thing I wanted to think about…but exactly what I needed to hear.

Friends, I thank God that I get to do the work that I do. Most days it’s filled with incredible joys or intimate moments with families during heartbreak that draws us all closer to God and each other. But there is an overwhelming sense of urgency and responsibility when you consider the great calling God has put on us to go and make disciples of all nations. It’s terrifying, really. God wants to see all people drawn to Himself, and He plans to use us in His process.

And God grows us through those conflicts. Those moments of discomfort and burden. Isn’t it funny how conflict makes every other story good, except when it’s happening to us? That’s when we feel our story is lacking, or not where it should be. But maybe this is precisely when our plot is beginning to thicken. Maybe this is where we will grow the most, as God brings us through it.

Growth during these times can happen if we’re willing to see it, allow it, and not get caught up in a dangerous cycle of victimization. God has much to teach and show us when we’re uncomfortable; we have to try hard to not squint our eyes in the midst of that painful time.

So I ask you…what are you doing about your uncomfortable feeling right now? Are you asking God what He’s teaching you in this, how He’s growing you through it? It’s not easy and it’s never fun. But maybe those are the places God does some of His best work.

Enjoying the Journey,

Pastor Doug