How do you comprehend love? How do you experience it?

I have been thinking about this alot lately.

The other day my son was upset with me. (It was because I told him “no” when he persistently asked to take my iPad to play a game on it.) When I calmly told him “no” after he asked repeatedly, he responded with “you’re a mean mom” and added “you don’t love me”. (Have you been there before?)

I responded to him, “I do love you, very much. And part of me loving you and being your mom includes helping you to have healthy boundaries and make healthy choices.” But I followed with, “Help me understand – what makes you feel loved?” (Because clearly in this situation, we had different ideas.)

He didn’t have a lot to say right then (and I get it – he was just mad at me for not letting him have his way). In this moment, me saying “no” equated to “you don’t love me” in his mind.

But I’m his mama, and from all of the moments and conversations before over the years, I know better than that. This young man feels loved through quality time, togetherness, learning conversations, and encouragement. (Also talking sports and playing them together.) I’m sure still frustrated with me, He then went off to play with his sister instead.

I started thinking through how many times I have heard that as a response – ‘you don’t love me’ because the other person didn’t elicit the response they wanted from me. And then I wondered how many times God has heard that from us, in the times we don’t get our way or think that He’s saying NO to things we’ve been asking.

“I’ve been asking for what I want, but I don’t think God hears me.”
“I think bad things keep happening to me – God must not love me.”
“I don’t understand how my loved one could be gone – how is there a God? I’m so angry!”

When I don’t understand or start to question what love truly is or what it looks like, I remember Jesus’ words He spoke, recorded in the Gospel of John:

16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.” – JOHN 3:16-18

God loves you and me so big and so deep and without bounds that he did what it took to ensure there would be no obstacle or anything in the way of receiving His love, in relationship with Him. He sent His only Son Jesus into this world – the Word made flesh – that we might see and hear and experience and come to know more fully who He is. And Jesus didn’t just come, He modeled for us the Father’s heart what it looked like to walk in His will and His ways – all the way to the cross, where He paid our great sin debt as the ‘once for all’ perfect sacrifice. And in His death on that cross, the temple curtain that once separated us from God tore in two – meaning through Jesus, our Savior, we are not only able to have relationship with God our Father, but also eternal life with Him. He loves us so much that He would sacrifice His Son to save us, to connect with us, and to welcome us to be with Him always.

This is GOOD NEWS. Actually, this is simply amazing to know and be loved like that. It’s a “no matter what” kind of love, with no qualifiers or record of wrongs. It’s the kind of love that changes you, and points you to eternity.

And yet, we forget. God, our loving parent, sees us and knows every part of us, every thought, and has a purpose and a path for us. In our sinful, human nature, when things don’t go how we think they should, we forget… His boundless love, the grace, the forgiveness, the eternity. (And we especially forget about it in our human relationships.)

SO, BE REMINDED TODAY. Be reminded that YOU ARE wholly and dearly LOVED. Be reminded that just as an earthly parent loves his or her child and also must lovingly discipline that child, God our Father also guides us with boundaries and discipline because He Loves Us. Be reminded to set your mind on things above. Be reminded to live changed by His love and live daily in the victory and freedom He won for us (don’t be a slave to the things He already won your freedom from).

And as you follow Him, and walk in His love and His ways – Be reminded to tell and show someone else, and remind them just how wholly and dearly loved they are by God too (even when they’re upset with you about an iPad).

This week, as you reflect on this passage from John 3:16-18, think about:

1. Who can you share this Word with right now? Tell them about it, what it means to you in your life, and show them what it looks like.

2. How do you experience love? What makes you feel loved? Take the time to write down your thoughts and also take it to God in conversation and prayer. Take the extra step to have this conversation with a child, spouse, friend, neighbor, etc. Talking about it can help us learn how to love each other better.

Connect with more information about the Love For All Weekly Devotion and additional resources at SPLDECATUR.ORG/LOVEFORALL and SHARE your thoughts, questions, and prayers with us HERE.