Raising Kids who have a Kind Heart and Love the Lord (Part Two)

Submitted by Jennifer Power

Last week I shared a few suggestions to help us be intentional about raising kids who have kind hearts and love the Lord. This week I am sharing one specific multifaceted suggestion. I started thinking this strategy is more important than the three I shared last week, but when I reread last week’s post I was struck by the utter importance of each: prayer, meeting needs, and physical affection/saying “I love you.” The task of raising kind kids who love the Lord should be a top priority for parents and primary caretakers – it is not a simple task and will at many times require more than we think we have to give. It is hard to imagine one could leave out any one of the three tasks I mentioned last week and still shape a young person into a whole, healthy individual who loves God and others well.

[The work of the Holy Spirit can accomplish whatever it sets out to do and has been known to bring great and awesome healing to many who have experienced lack, but this truth does not excuse us from our responsibility as parents to do our absolute best by the power of that same Spirit.]

My next suggestion is therefore not more important than the others, but I will say it is equally important.

Here it is:

MODEL.

No, I am not talking about getting fancied up and photographed for an advertising agency.

If we want to raise children who are kind and love the Lord, we absolutely must model this life ourselves. Here are some examples of specific ways we can model for our children:

1. Show kindness to people who are hurting and rejected. If we want our children to see value in others and to act in such a way as to reflect such value, we must show our children how sacrificial kindness acts. We must be willing to show surprising kindness to those who are often overlooked and rejected. In doing so, we will teach our children the value of ALL human souls.
2. Tell your children “I’m sorry” and ask for forgiveness regularly. A soft, kind heart is one which is not always on the defensive. It does not stubbornly fight with and refuse to admit wrongdoings to people it loves and who were created by God. The ability to humbly apologize and ask for forgiveness rather than making excuses or punishing oneself is a mark of one who is centered in Christ rather than in her own self-preservation. When we refuse to admit we are wrong, we deny our sinfulness. When we refuse to accept forgiveness and beat ourselves up, we deny the power of the cross.
3. Give forgiveness and unexpected grace without guilt trips or first making sure the other person is clear on how he/she wronged you. This one is tough for me – especially with my husband, but it is perhaps with him that it is most essential. I want my children to see how much I value, honor, love, and respect their daddy more often than they see me trying to “win” arguments or make my points. Not only is apologizing, repenting, and forgiving crucial to the foundation of a faith walk with Jesus, but they are essential elements of relationships steeped in kindness. So, when wronged, rather than vindicating or justifying oneself, take the advice of Queen Elsa and “Let it go…” (So sorry, just had to throw that one in there…)
4. Model spiritual disciplines. I will spend a whole week on this one, so for now I will leave it at that. Your children will learn from you how a life of loving God looks.
5. Avoid hypocrisy and gossip – be authentic. Even if you take care to hide it from them, your kids will notice if you do not live out what you teach. They will hear the unkindness behind a joke meant as a dig. They will pick up on the nuances of gossip – that such ways of speaking belittle others, while simultaneously noticing one can use gossip and slander as devices for entertainment as long as one also acts charitably at times. If such behavior is modeled, they will follow the example. Model instead authentic living which values people more than comfort and status.
6. Do not speak poorly of others. Similar to number five, but worth stating again in a different way. Do not speak poorly of your husband or wife – ever – no matter who is or is not around. As much as it is within your power (and you will need the assistance of the Holy Spirit), endeavor to let kind words roll off your lips rather than harsh ones.

My husband’s grandfather Bob was known for his kindness. He did not speak poorly of others – he just didn’t. His funeral was one of the most moving services I have ever attended. The smiles and laughter of people sharing stories about Bob allowed deep joy to be experienced in the midst of the sorrow of that day. There is depth and richness in kindness which blows away any happiness obtained through money or status: When it comes down to it, it just does not compare.

Kindness matters. Kindness has power.

While it is certainly not my desire for my kids to be unsuccessful in career, money, status, etc., I would much rather they be known by their kindness. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Next week, I will share more suggestions to help us be intentional about raising kids with kind hearts who love the Lord, but until then, may God’s peace and love surround you and yours.

Raising Kids who have a Kind Heart and Love the Lord

Raising Kids who have a Kind Heart and Love the Lord – Part Three

Raising Kids who have a Kind Heart and Love the Lord – A Brief Guide to Spiritual Disciplines

Raising Kids who have a Kind Heart and Love the Lord – A Brief Guide to Spiritual Disciplines (cont.)