What do you worry about the most? If you made a list of all the things you worry about you’ll probably find a common link: you have no control over them.

Sure, we worry about some things that we do have control over, but many of the things we worry about we don’t have control over. Maybe you worry that the big barbeque you have planned this weekend won’t happen because of a rainy weather forecast. Or, you worry about what will happen to your family if you died suddenly or became ill and unable to provide for them. Maybe you worry about aging or job security. By and large most of these things we have little control over or we can only do so much to affect these situations.

There are a few quotes about worrying that I have really connected with:

“Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”

“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

I think most of us would agree with those statements, but that doesn’t make it any easier to stop worrying. The Bible has no shortage of verses on worrying, but sometimes those too are unable to keep us from fretting.

1 Peter 5:7 instructs us to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” and Matthew 6:27 asks, “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

These are great verses that can be a source of strength in times of trouble. But sometimes our human frailty doesn’t allow us to fully trust God as we should.

So how can you stop worrying or at least manage your anxiety to the point that it doesn’t take over and ruin your day?

If you have constant worry, to the point where it makes it difficult to get things done, schedule a “worry time” sometime during your day. Promise yourself that you will only worry about this particular thing during that time, and devote that time fully to worrying and nothing else. You can jot it down so you don’t forget. If you keep worrying about what your investments are doing, jot down “worry about money,” and schedule a time, between 6:15 to 6:30 for instance, that you will devote to worrying about that issue. Rather than wasting the entire day worrying about this, you’ve scheduled time for it like you do for so many other important things in your life. Whenever the thought pops into your head, remind yourself that you’ve scheduled time to think about that later and that the problem will still be there at that time. This can take some practice but many people find it an excellent way to manage their anxiety. Postponing your worry like this can help you break the habit of worrying as your worries pop into your head throughout the day.

Another thing you can do is stop and ask yourself, “Is this problem solvable?” This can help you determine how to proceed with the problem. If it is a solvable problem, you can go into problem-solving mode and generate some possible solutions. If it is not a solvable problem, then you can make up your mind then and there how to proceed. Will you allow yourself to worry about it or will you cope with it in a healthier way?

Worry is a way people cope with their problems, but it’s not a good one. Worrying might temporarily make you feel better, but in the long-run it is a huge time-waster. If you are unable to shift from worrying to problem-solving quickly or are unable to push the worry out of your mind, at least until your “worry time,” it is going to continue to take much of your energy that you could be spending on many other things.

If you are a chronic worrier, consider looking online for tips on developing problem solving skills and pray to God for the strength and wisdom to deal with your issues head-on instead of constantly worrying over them. Or, if it feels like more than you can handle on your own, consider coming in to talk with a counselor and working through these things with a helper.

I love the part of the Serenity Prayer where we ask God for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. That’s a tough part that so many of us get caught up on. I pray that God would grant you that serenity today.

In His Service,

Jarvis

Connect with Counseling & Family Ministry at St. Paul’s by calling 217-423-6955.