Worship and a Broken Tire

Submitted by Jennifer Power

Yesterday, our tire tread was peeling away from the tire, so my husband brought it in to be replaced.

About three weeks ago, I attended the Global Leadership Summit at the First Church of the Nazarene here in town along with our St. Paul’s ministry staff. At the time, I was feeling run down and empty. During the opening of the Summit, a pastor from the Nazarene church welcomed us and gave us details about the two-day conference, and he shared that they had opened up their small chapel as a prayer room for the Summit.

In days prior, I had read a devotional by Dallas Willard about the importance of solitude and silence – being with God not to accomplish anything but just to be with Him. I had prayed for opportunities for such solitude, knowing life as it is for me makes it hard to find such a precious commodity. I recognized this announcement about the prayer room as a special provision from God for me to have times of quiet with Him over the next two days.

There is something uniquely peaceful about a time of quiet with God that is not obstructed by the many pressing needs of the day beckoning. During four half hours over those two days, I was able to sit and be with God with no agenda and nothing pressing calling me to cut my time short. It was a time of refreshment and rejuvenation for my spirit.

These last three weeks, I have experienced a special closeness with God where much of the day I am aware of His presence with me and able to maintain a spirit of trust and peace for all that each day brings. Two other times in the past year, I have been able to connect with God and walk with Him in a similar fashion. During each time, I have prayed many prayers and experienced many answers to those prayers. Praying and seeing God move in direct response to my prayers strengthens my trust in Him and my ability to avoid anxiety, worry, rushing, and despair. He does hear me; He does love me; He is for me; He can and wants to provide for us as we walk in the path He has for us. It is quite a beautiful thing to experience.

At other times in my life, I have experienced many answered prayers, but never before in my life have they been clustered so tightly together as they have these three times this past year as I walk with Him in moment-by-moment trust and love.

I have noticed, however, that these times have not gone on indefinitely. Whether slowly or abruptly, my close connection with God fades into the background and the status quo of my faith resumes (though arguably with a new small step made toward progress in my spiritual transformation). I have sensed a pattern in what tends to bring these unique times to a temporary end. As I walk in trust with God, praying throughout the day and seeing many prayers answered, I have found myself slowly relying and resting more on God’s provision than in His presence. I begin to love God more for what He is doing for me than for who He is to me. I am convinced it is His great joy to provide for His children as they trust in Him, but is a dangerous thing to go down the path of loving His blessings so much that we are disappointed and frustrated when a prayer is not answered as hoped.

So back to replacing the breaking tire.

Yesterday, after experiencing provision after provision by God for the unique path He called us to walk as a family, I was praying about our tire. I prayed that God would encourage my husband by providing him with a great deal on a tire for our van.

Later in the day, I spoke with John on the phone and asked him how it went with getting the new tire. He told me it went fine but that they only had one tire in stock that would work for our van and it was the most expensive tire they carry.

Some might say this is mere coincidence and nothing more, but I have found as I walk closely with God, there are no mere coincidences. I prayed for an inexpensive tire for our van, and we ended up having to purchase the most expensive tire they had.

Instead of bringing me to instant discouragement, this caused me to pause. Perhaps I would have thought nothing of it if we had gotten an average price on the tire, but for us to have to purchase the most expensive tire, it seemed God was speaking through this situation.

A fuller awareness of what He was saying to me came as I drove to work this morning. In the midst of walking the road He had laid before us, I had put so much focus on trusting in God’s provision that I had forgotten to spend much time seeking God for who He is. I became so preoccupied with remembering how vast are His resources, His willingness to provide, and His love and care for us, that I had forgotten what mattered most. His provision for me is not what matters most. His provision for me is a byproduct of His love and not an end unto itself. I must never seek Him for His provision – even if it is provision for what He has called me into. My primary and main reason for seeking Him must be to find Him. It must be for this and for nothing else. Certainly, I can and should continue to pray for His provision, but I must never lose Him and His simple presence with me in the process.

Two back to back Matt Redman songs on my morning commute today ushered me into the presence of God in worship and reminded me how much more His presence mattered than anything else. In those moments, I surrendered once again all I am to Him and renewed my promise to remain fully His no matter what may come. I renewed my devotion to Him outside of His provision for my life. I found rest and strength in worshiping God simply for who He is. I love Him, and He loves me, and honestly, I can leave this world empty of everything I have ever loved. I can experience no earthly success, become penniless and alone, but I will never lose Him. That is enough. Enough to have my devotion for all of eternity. I do not need what He can give me. I only need Him. I will rejoice in each provision He gives me; I will pray for the safety of my family; I will ask for His provision at every turn, but I will not make my devotion dependent on any of it. He has my heart because He has placed His love deep within me, deeper than anything else I have ever experienced. He has showed me great measures of His love for me and has become my closest companion.

It is all I need. It is more than enough.

Lord, I pray, remind me each time I stray from this conviction and promise to be fully Yours and seek You for who You are and provide for me the grace and mercy to remain in Your love.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Your Grace Finds Me by Matt Redman

Mercy by Matt Redman

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