If you’re like me and my wife, sometimes you find yourself sitting across the table from your spouse and having nothing to say to each other. Some couples are more comfortable with silence than others. In general, there is nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s presence in silence. However, if it becomes commonplace and communication has broken down, what are you supposed to do to reconnect?

Sometimes, taking the first step is hard. It can feel awkward to start to communicate if communication has ceased or become only about “business” — the children, work, bills, etc. There are a number of great ways to break the ice that you can try – I have shared a link at the bottom of this post that will connect you with some of these ideas.

There is a bit of reading before they get to one of the main exercises which was of interest to me – it is called “The Love Map Exercise.” The idea behind “Love Maps” is that through doing this exercise you will be filling out a map of your spouse as you go (their likes, dislikes, dreams, desires, etc.). There are about 20 questions that are designed to foster conversation between you and your spouse. The questions cover everything from “What stresses am I facing now?” to “What is my fondest unrealized dream?”

You’ll be surprised what you will learn about your spouse. You’ll also be surprised at what you thought you knew but didn’t. We change over time and answers your spouse would have given to some of these questions five years ago are not the same answers they will give now.

One really great thing about this exercise is that it can give you many topics of conversation and can increase intimacy as you get to know each other’s worlds better. Even if you do communicate well, it can be a fun way to unwind after a long day, and you’re almost guaranteed to have a few laughs.

Have fun, and happy communicating!

Yours in Christ,

Jarvis Howe